I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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