Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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