why didn't you poke me back
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize