He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
