We're like a lot better than the average bears
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
