they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
my being single is dangerous.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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