So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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