Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize