Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
