Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
