she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize