Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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