Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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