just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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