well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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