I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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