All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
