We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
