You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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