Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
