It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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