You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
