Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
