no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
