He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
