What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
