I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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