is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
My penis needs a shock collar
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
