do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
