Dual....:-)
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
