I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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