i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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