I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
