I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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