Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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