Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
This house was built for laser tag.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
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