as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
