what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
