No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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