Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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