Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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