Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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