she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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