And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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