yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
