I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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