OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
