Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
