So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
