My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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