i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
