Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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