I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
So apparently I’m into choking now
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