hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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