): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
