is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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