ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
