i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
