True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
