My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
